Category: Chapters

I may dream in Technicolor, but I trip the fuck out in old school black and white. – tandex@e2

There is a remarkable freedom associated with not caring. If you cease to care what others think of you, then no longer are you constrained by their opinions. These massive chains that have been around you neck are cut loose and you may act without abandon. On Saturday I went to my first nightclub / rave, a club called the Metropolis in the Flats of Cleveland. A local DJ warmed up the “crowd” (there wasn’t that many people there) before the headliner came on, a DJ from England. It was a new experience, and having been thrown into strange surroundings, my first instinct was to sit back and watch. Many other people were doing the same, to the point where for every person dancing under the spinning lights and strange effects there was three people watching. Standing on the side you feel isolated from the dancers, like you are an outcast that can’t walk into their world. So I walked forward. Into the center of the floor this newbie walked, until I was standing directly underneath the lights fantastic, and directly in front of the pair of van sized speaker sets. Once in the center, surrounded by swirling figures of people whom I have never met, I stopped caring that I was being watched. Freedom at any price they say. I found my freedom for $15 at the door and a $10 cab ride.

I have to start making that big decision: What am I going to major in? I’ve always wanted to do two things: program computer games, and build robots. Since I was in 8th grade I’ve made computer programs, although not as much in the last year or so. Last year I was in a school robotics team that made it to a national competition in Seattle, the highlight of that academic year. But I don’t want to spend the rest of my life behind a desk, writing code, or working on schematics. I take relief in my dad. He got two degrees out of college, industrial ceramics and a mining degree. He now is the president of a construction company that makes embassies, not exactly what he wanted or started out to be. He told me that regardless of what I come out of college with, I will end up where I want, if that’s what I really want. Your major will give you a general push, but its things inherent in you, your ability to learn and deal with new things that will ultimately decide your success. I am in college to learn HOW to learn.

That’s all I am. I stink. I have hair all over my body. I hurt myself on regular occasions by doing stupid things. I want things I can’t have, even though it should be obvious I can’t have them. I’m hungry almost all the time, and I eat what tastes good, not what’s healthy. I run from things that scare me, and I do things solely to impress others. I’m lazy, not wanting to do much more than I absolutely have to. I want to work just hard enough so I can feed myself and any chick monkeys I happen to have at the time, and trust me, as a monkey I like having chick monkeys running around all over the place. My goals are simple: have fun being me, cause that’s all I am.

I have not been around in a long time. My transition from a heterosexual to a gay transsexual was quite rapid. I now lust for Billy Blanks. Of course he must be wearing a ballerina outfit with the crotch cut out. But the sad state I am now at I am not quite sure even Sam or I could explain that. But being Sam’s lack of masculinity I will try. It all started with a shower with Big Al. Later, Al would castrate Sam after a brutal fight about whose legs were sexier. Then Sam began cross dressing, because of lack of a penis. This is more or less how I have come to be. It was not all my fault; I occasionally tell Sam messages to hit on women. Sam only responds, “NO, girls have cooties”. It’s not my fault…” ~baconthefag

Due to some confusion, this was written by a friend of mine as a parody of Fight Club and my chapters.

Somebody asked me today if I had a girlfriend, and I replied “nope.” “But why not?” they asked, and while I can’t claim I turn away an extraordinary amount of women, I can claim I won’t go out with anybody. I’m not desperate to get laid, to be loved, to party with the ladies, because that’s not everything. If you go out looking for a girlfriend, you end up finding girls who aren’t good girlfriends. If you go out with the intentions of being a nice person, and being proud of yourself and respecting others, while you might not go on many dates, you cut the hoes and soap operas out of your life.