Category: Chapters

When the day is said and done, what is important? Did you learn something new? Make someone feel better about their day? Help the world become a better place? Everyone one those things make people happy. If I go to class and learn some cool piece of knowledge that allows me to do Integrals faster and better than ever before, that makes me happy. If my friend goes down to the homeless shelter and serves soup for 4 hours, and returns feeling like she really helped people, which probably makes her happier. But if someone plays a computer game all day, one they’ve already beaten twice, does that give them any less of a right to be happy? Happiness is such a personal thing, so deeply intertwined with everything we hold dear and believe in, that once we find what makes us happy, then that is the thing we should strive to do. I am not saying we should serve soup in homeless shelters, not all of us, but if that is what makes you happy, then that is what you must do. If your day is not complete without mooning the neighboring dorm, while it may be twisted, it is your path to happiness. Every good thing we do, everything we are praised for, is done for our personal gratification. Mother Theresa, while I don’t actually know, undoubtedly enjoyed helping the many people she did. Masturbation is generally used in the perverted sense, but it can also be used in a more general self-induced pleasure. If you set on purpose to make yourself happy, by helping others, is that substantially different than jerking off for hours on end, if that makes you happy?

I’m tired. I spent an entire day with strangers, and only a few known quantities to rely on. I enjoyed myself thoroughly, but I found that I was increasingly quiet, more so than I normally am. I projected myself as a somewhat quiet, introspective kid. Do I want to be a quiet, introspective kid? Maybe I do, maybe I don’t. But I am tired, but not just tired physically. I acted today, not knowingly, but as something that I had to do. I put on a performance to impress a dozen adults that I was someone who would meet their approval. I put on a performance with a college student so that he would think I was a cool guy he could relate to. And finally, I put on a performance for my friend, so that she would think more of me, so that she wouldn’t regret inviting me on this special day. Did I succeed? I don’t know yet, and I’m not sure if I will know. All I can be sure of is that I could have tried harder, and it sucks to know that. To know that you COULD have done more, that you COULD have been a little more charming. But I was acting, I was on stage in front of over a dozen peers and I didn’t give my all. I’m not a theater major. I’m tired of acting.

One Saturday ago, I was looking around online, and I found out that from 4-6 in the morning on Sunday morning there was a meteor shower. It was awfully early, but 10 of us stayed up to see natures fireworks. It was cold, and we couldn’t seem to get a good view from the cramped quarters of the balconies. Someone suggested the roof of Norton. I knew how to get to the roof, so we all snuck to the janitor closet and climbed the ladder EVER so quietly, sneaking onto the roof. The sky was perfect, cloudless, and for the first time in a long time, my view of the heavens was not cluttered by ugly buildings. We watched the stars and the meteors for over an hour, lying on our backs on the cold, wet, gravel roof. If you don’t think this sounds exciting, you should try it. The shooting stars last less than a second, so everyone was constantly missing them.

Nortonites – “OOOHH!! THERE’S ONE!!!”
Gerrie – “WHERE?!? WHERE?!? Fuck, I missed another one!!”

We snuck back in, and after some more viewing at an adjacent field, 5 of us guys climbed up the ladder again, this time to see the sunrise. It was maybe the first sunrise I’ve ever made the point of seeing. It was also one of the most interesting nights I have ever had.

I saw my first women’s college basketball game on Friday. I really only went because a Norton contingent of supporters for our friend Rachel collected me. We played a good team that was nationally ranked last year, but it appears they aren’t now, because little old Case kicked their ass, something like 70 to 50.

I have played basketball 5 on 5 before, so I knew how it worked, at least I thought I did. The teamwork these girls had, the intuition that told them to be exactly where the other person needed them to be, was amazing. The fluid movements of not only the individuals, but the team as a whole were extremely well oiled. One girl in particular had the skills to drive in and make shot after shot, but she didn’t, because she knew that her making the point wasn’t as important as making the point in general, so she’d pass.

Having played hockey and paint ball I understand some of the people that play games. Some go for the glory of themselves, knowing that whoever makes the shot gets the glory. But others go for the glory of the team, and pass, or cover, helping the team being more important than getting a half court shot.

We watched a movie in evolution a couple of days ago on sex. Beyond the usual John Travolta and peacock scenes, it got to talking about different evolutionary changes due to sex, and the sexes. In chimpanzees the males are the dominant of the two sexes, and the whole species is violent, with the females being beat by the males in shows of dominance.

The Bonobos on the other hand, fairly close relatives to chimps, have the roles reversed. The females are dominant, and the whole species is calmer and much more cooperative. One interesting fact that was drilled into our heads during the video by countless scenes is the fact that Bonobos like to have sex. They have sex for pleasure, sex for food, sex for power, sex between guys, sex between girls, and sex with the kids hanging on the backs of the two lovers. This whole lifestyle has come about logically from the fact that they have more food, and less competition for it. The males don’t need to fight, giving the women who bear the offspring the power. The chimps must compete for food with gorillas, so they end up living in the food scarce trees, fighting for every scrap, leaving the women to fend for themselves AND their young. The fact that women tend to be dominant in one case and tend not to be in the other case came about due to evolution and the environment, not any distinct advantages of a sex.

If you draw the lines to human evolution, humans grew up on the plains, with the male hunters hunting for food and competing for the women. What evolutionary advantage could be better for a male than to have the females not have a choice on whether to mate with him or not? If he was big enough and mean enough, he could pick the woman he wanted and unless she could get away, there wasn’t much she could do about it. Knowing this, I am not surprised that the bias of the sexes has existed through the times. Given the current environment we live in, the most well suited male is not the biggest and the meanest (maybe for football), but someone more equal to the females. The real reason sexism exists today is that evolution selected for the biggest men who were the best hunters, and for the most caring women that raised the children best.

That’s just what I think, I could be wrong.